Transitioning...

With all the counting down and thinking I was ready, it still hit me yesterday driving to the airport to drop off my friend, Keenan, that this time here is almost over. I have two weeks before I will be full on leaving and on an airplane from Thailand to Hawaii to connect with friends and have some downtime at the beach with God and then to Texas to see family and friends in a whirlwind week of excitement and visits and memories made, then home to Colorado on the 23rd of June.

Please pray for me in the transitioning as it is already emotionally catching up with me...

Pray that God's favor rests on every part of my next two weeks...

Mercies on the traveling part...

Sweet tenderness for my heart in the saying of lots of goodbyes...

Also - for my foot, which has an infection in it from when I ran over it with a gate...just keep praying that it will heal!

Love you all and cannot wait to see you at some point in the transition...

The winding down of the school year...

I'm excited that Keenan, from Colorado, and Angela, from Colorado but in Australia for a year, are coming to visit. I go to Bangkok on Sunday night on the overnight bus to meet them and hang out and shop at export shops and watch English movies and drink Starbucks coffee and just be together.

But I'm sad that it's not much longer till I come home as saying goodbye is one of my least favorite things to do. Honestly I think I would rather get a tooth pulled or a shot of gammaglobulin (which if you haven't had one, it's based on your weight and is like pushing jello through the eye of a needle). You get how much I hate goodbyes...it was hard coming out here and it will be hard going home.

And only 3 and 1/2 weeks of school left!! There's a lot to do in those few weeks...we have a cultural arts contest where the kids write, paint, dance, sing, play music on one theme - many cultures, one family. Then the next weekend is the first annual Chiang Rai FLC Sprint Distance Triathlon, the story follows. Then the next weekend is the Awards Banquet and then the last week of school with all its excitement - packing up boxes, packing up books, cleaning up classrooms, FLC soccer game, graduation and the last school dance. Then the next day I head to Bangkok with all my worldly possessions that I currently own, excluding those in Colorado that Keenan took back for me and all my winter clothes (not needed here at all). The following day, June 9th, I start my flights home with a short layover in Hawaii to debrief with some missionary friends and then to Texas for 8 days and home to Colorado on June 23rd. Not much longer...

So the story on the 1st Annual Chiang Rai Sprint Distance Triathlon...Sounds official, huh? Well, really it's just a friend, William, who has made significant changes in his personal health in losing over 100 lbs and wanted to host a race. I have been working out as well, and thought it would be awesome! So that is how the first annual race was born. Next Saturday, May 24th, we will be swimming 750m, biking 20k, and running a 5k, which for me will be walking after I've completed the other two, but when I return to Colorado, I am going to begin training for a 5k race to run completely September 1st with a few of my closest friends in Woodland who are training for 1/2 and full marathons.

I cannot say for those who have been supporting me in funds and in prayers, exactly how grateful I am. This time in Thailand has been life changing and Stefanie-redefining. I am so thankful to have partnered with you and to have you enable me to reach awesome missionary and non-missionary kids in Thailand at the Family Learning Center. It has been a great time and I plan on finishing well!!

If you feel led to assist with traveling expenses or funds to help in re-establishing life in Colorado, all will be greatly appreciated. My plans for returning are to get there, then wait and see what God has for me. If it was a year ago, I might not have been able to do this, but having trusted God and lived on Him for a year, it's a bit easier. Notice I said a bit...it is not easy to abide or to wait and see, but that is my only option other than completely stressing out and having freakouts and panic attacks. Waiting and seeing really is the best option.

SPRING BREAK 2008 PICTURES...WAHOO!!!!

THE LONG AWAITED SPRING BREAK PICTURES

It all started in Bangkok for 3 days and the pictures are random...what so overwhelmed in Bangkok was the traffic!! I didn't realize the extent to which I love small city hometown life, but I DO!!!And then OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE!!! We ate there and it was the most enjoyed meal!! Steaks aren't in huge quantities here and the ones available are both expensive and not so delish! SO IT WAS A SPECIAL PART OF SPRING BREAK!!!

So you see the sign for MBK, which is one of the five malls in downtown Bangkok. THIS MALL WAS CUH-RAZY!! It was like 8 floors of stores not bigger than 2 aisles of clothes packed in or shoes packed in or sardines (at least that is what it felt like) and each store had music on and then there was music going in the main part of the mall. There must have been four thousand people in that one mall or maybe more. I realized exactly how ADHD I am as I couldn't concentrate on anything...conversation with friends, what I thought I wanted to buy...nothing!!

The picture to the right and just above reminded me of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, but it would be A Tree Grows in Bangkok! I loved it...the growth sometimes that you can find in harsh places...reminded me of how good God is to me in the midst of hard times.

On the left is the place we stayed in Bangkok...pretty nice huh??




AND THE BEACH PICTURES...

Hua Hin was most beautiful and we had such a great time...there were six of us...Beth, Aim (husband and wife), Rachel, Amy, Ryan, and I. We laid out at the beach almost every day and I look quite Thai now...haha, that is when the Lobster red turned into brown!

Just below, you see EVER and what I miss most about Texas and even Colorado...barbecue!! I had ribs, some pulled pork, beans (not very good),my favorite meal cornbread Thai style with chilies in it and a piece of watermelon! It was by far the best meal I had while on break! In case you are wondering, what is she doing with her fingers? It is a Thai thing...the girls in Chiang Rai when taking pictures do that (I have no idea why, but it has almost become natural and still very weird).These are the peeps...Ryan, Rachel and Amy, then Me, Beth and Aim. You can hardly tell the difference between me and a Thai person...or at least now as the red has gone away!!

I think that is the absolute picture of relaxation...feet sandy (the natural pumice), laid back on a lounge chair in the sun at the beach with the entire ocean in front of you...what a time it was!!

You notice in the above picture at the barbecue restaurant, I have french braids in my hair. I had showered that night and braided them so I could have curly hair the following day - for fun! However for me, it didn't quite work out as planned. I unbraided it to find a beautiful afro hidden underneath (symbolic of my hidden inner diva - haha!)...but more like a primping job gone awry!!

Love you all so much! See you in not too many days now!!

a song you need to hear

A dear friend sent me an email with part of this song in it, and I wanted to share it with you all as it had such a great ginormous (and lots of other bigger words) impact on me as I listened to it. All of you who know me know that I'm a cryer during sappy love movies, ridiculous Disney movies, and also at very important times...as Mark Weaver (a CO brother and friend) says, "Pay attention to what makes you cry as it is important" (i butchered his very intelligent words, but i haven't heard him speak in awhile, so i'm doing the best i can from so far away).

As I listened to this song, "Peace" by Jason Upton, it pulled on some major things in my heart and made me weep. And I'm taking time to pay attention to those things. You can be praying for me as I do...

Here is a sight where you can hear it: http://mirjamruth.imeem.com/music/b4yZAvdb/jason_upton_peace/

and here are the lyrics:

Peace
From Open Up the Earth by Jason Upton

I wanna know Your heart
Like a child knows his father
And I wanna know Your voice
Like my little boy knows my voice

When I hear You at a distance
When the world can’t make it out
I can hear it comin
Your voice, oh Father
Your voice, oh Father
The still, small voice

And I wanna hear your Voice, oh Father
Even when it seems at a distance
When people think I’m crazy
For thinking I can hear You

I wanna know Your voice, oh Father
I wanna hear it comin
I wanna be the first around the corner
To take Your hand and walk with You
To the chair that You have
And sit down on Your lap and hold on

Sometimes that’s all we do as children
Is just hear Your voice come runnin’ round the corner
And hold on

Sometimes that’s what it feels like to be a child of God
It’s just holding on

And I declare over you that the enemy’s camp tonight
Is not fearful of a generation puffed up with Christian pride
But a childlike generation
That all it knows how to do is hold on

I wanna hold on to You Father
More than I run and play or dance around
I wanna hold on to you Father
Sit on your lap and hear Your voice whisper over me
In the midst of the storm, “Peace.”

Oh I give you peace
The strength of a generation is peace
Jesus said, “I want to give you peace, oh children.”
Oh, the peace that comes beyond the understanding
Oh, the peace that comes on knowing the whisper of a father

I give you peace
In the midst of your brokenness
I give you peace
In the midst of your emptiness
I give you peace
In the midst of the moments when you feel so dry
I give you peace
I give you peace
I give you peace
When you feel you can’t go on
I give you peace
When rejection’s far too much
I give you peace
When the shame, the shame’s too unbarable
And the world seems so cruel, I give you
I give you peace
The times you take off
I give you peace
The times you are fearful
I give you peace
The peace of a child
Holdin’ on

I wanna see the cloud
The cloud coming
When no one else sees the cloud
I wanna see it’s coming
Gimme eyes, oh father, and faith like a child
And ability to feel the same and know it
I see it comin’ now
I wanna see you comin
Before the world, i wanna see you comin
I wanna know you’re comin
Over the army, over the warriors
Know you’re comin
You’re comin to rescue me
I know you’re comin
In the midst of the trial
I know you’re comin
In the midst of the circumstance
I know you’re comin
So I’ll wait

In restlessness that’s only that of a child waiting for his dad
Shaking on the inside
Can’t wait til you come home
Can’t wait til you come home
Can’t wait til you come home
Can’t wait til you come home
Gimme the faith of a child
With a restlessness inside
Just waiting to see you, father
Before anyone else sees you
Waiting to hear you, father
When your voice is still off in the distance
I hear you comin
I can hear you comin
Your kingdom coming
I wanna be your child

the beach...

i just came back from a week at the beach in hua hin, thailand...thankfully a friend owns a villa there and allowed me and five friends to stay there for a very very small amount of money! it was a week of relaxation, swimming in the ocean, swimming in the pool, playing pool, checking internet once a day only, eating good food like barbecue (oh how i miss it), hamburgers and french fries (always lovely), chicken and som tam and sticky rice (i think my favorite thai meal), having starbucks coffee (love it too and miss it already), and so much more! fond memories made on the beach with friends that i didn't know that well, but now know much better!

it also included a body floating up to the shore, pushed by the waves...from what we saw, he had been in the water at least overnight if not longer...rigor mortised, bloated, scratched up from some rocks and shot at least 3 times...the Thai workers on the beach, pulled him out of the water and covered him up with a towel only...his arm was still sticking up...it was crazy as we all waited for the cops to show up and people would be walking down the beach, calmly strolling, pondering life and its meaning, then they would see him laying there, do a double take as he was covered up with a towel and the closer they got, they could see he wasn't moving and they probably caught a hint of his 'smell'...then they would go the nearest person and talk about it, usually gesturing wildly! it was amazing and one moment or a few moments that i will never forget!

and still there's almost 8 more days of spring break to read 2 Dickens' novels, write, exercise for the triathlon coming up in 8 weeks and rest...

awww rest!! and only 61 more days until i leave Thailand head for home...seems to be speeding up as my goal still is to BE fully wherever i am...this week i realized if i put my roots deep down into God and into His love, i can do that...so that is what i'm doing...putting my roots deep down into Him!

Sonnet writing in 11th grade LA...

With my two 11th graders this week, we did sonnet circle writing, where each of us started our own poem then switched in a circle, taking turns writing a line each time. We started each sonnet giving it some direction and then finished the couplet (last 2 lines) in order to conclude it as we wanted.

Here is mine...

"Now's" Sonnet (the sonnet owned by right now)

There is one thing that makes my heart beat fast,
fast, fast, fast, faster than I've ever had,
Today I saw a guy I like walk past,
I followed him, he turned and looked so sad,
I asked him gently if there's something wrong,
I was so glad he had me in his eye,
He spoke to me his heart wounds that went long,
And he could take more time which I wouldn't mind,
We shared the time that would last to the end,
because all we're guaranteed is right now,
I wish I could stop time where we had spent,
I promise I will not let you feel down.
From this moment on, it is just us two,
I am all you'll need; all I want is you.

I started this poem and wrote every third line and the couplet at the end...what fun and challenge - having an idea of where I want to go and it being different from the other two writers, but still having to keep it moving the same direction!!

Thoughts on Easter and trust...

Yesterday I had an inspiring conversation with  my mentor at school, where we talked about trust and how much easier it is to trust in things like getting in your car and knowing you will most likely make it to work or that the coffee you are about to drink is good for you or at least will satisfy some need in your body or the food that you are about to ingest from a food stall on the streets of Thailand will not kill you and that the deworming you recently did will keep you safe from worms that have in other people gone to their brain and killed them or that you will have enough money to pay for rent or an endless number of things...

I trust in all that more than I trust in God because it is easier to trust in the chair that I'm about to sit in than something so big and intimidating and something I cannot touch but is still all around me.  Why is that?  

After the conversation I began asking God that in this season, on the celebration of the sacrifice and resurrection of His Son, Jesus, that He would renew again my trust in Him, making it easier to believe that when I don't have enough money, He will provide (as He has done oh so many times and again quite recently this week a huge amount and just because He is my Abba, my Father and He loves me), and He will protect and He will BE to me everything I need and more.  

So when I read this devotion this morning from Henri Nouwen, it totally fit and I wanted to share it with you...

The vision that Jesus gives us is this: That I am unconditionally loved, that I belong to God, and that I am a person who can really trust that.  When I meet another person who also is rooted in the heart of God, then the Spirit of God in me can recognize the Spirit of God in the other person, and then we can start building a new space, a new home, a house, a community.  Whether we speak about friendship, community, family, marriage, in the spiritual world, we are talking about spirit recognizing Spirit, solitude embracing Solitude, heart speaking to Heart.  And where this happens, there is an immense space.  (Henri Nouwen's Lecture at the Scarritt-Bennett Center)

Be blessed this Easter weekend with the realization of the Love that He has for you and trust in it!!  I love you all and wish you a sweet time with Him and with those in your community!!